Don't
by Sugar Camel
Summary: Leia gets mad and leaves Han. Wanting some company, he looks for someone on the Holonet and meets that last person he ever wanted to came in contact with. Please Read and Review! If you do, I'll do the same for you!
1. Don't Look for Company on the Holonet

TITLE: Don't  
  
CATEGORY: Humor/Action/Adventure  
  
RATING: Hmm. . . how about PG-13, just to be safe.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I bet you've seen enough of these to know who owns what, huh?  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't have Spell Check, so excuse any misspelled words, okay?  
  
Chapter 1: Don't Look for Company on the Holonet.  
  
*~*  
  
Han sat on a overstuffed grey chair in the living room, at his house, on Coursant, in the Star Wars galaxy, that's far away from ours, leafing through a magazine, that was full of slave girls and prostitiues.  
  
"Peice of shit!" He heard Leia's pissed off voice come from the kitchen, in the house, on Coursant, in the Star Wars galaxy, that's far away from ours. Han quickly stood up from his chair, shoved the magazine under the coushin, and ran into the kitchen.  
  
"Is that sewer rat back?" He asked, leaning against the door way, looking at his very angry fiancee.  
  
"No, I can't get the dishwasher to work." Leia gritted out, kicking the dishwasher hard enough for the door to open.  
  
"Well, kicking it won't fix it." He told her, going over to the dishwasher and closing it.  
  
"Well, maybe if you actually helped with the house work around here I wouldn't get so mad." Leia fumed, pacing around the kitchen.  
  
"Is it your time of the month again?" Han asked. He had to dodge to keep from getting smacked in the head with a green tinted, heavy, drinking glass. It narrowly missed his head and shattered against the wall, leaving a dent the size of his fist on the white plaster, in the kitchen, in the house, that's on Coursant. . .  
  
"You know what? You're useless." Leia told Han, stomping over to him and looked him straight in the eyes. "And I'm leaving untill you get it through your thick Correlian skull that I can't do everything around here by myself." With that she stomped past him, grabbing her dark brown fur coat off a chair, and went to the door.  
  
"Wait baby, don't go, I'll help." Han told her, following her to the door and grabbing her forearm.  
  
"No, I'm leaving and not coming back until you change, which'll probably be never." She said, jerking her arm out of his grasp and flinging open the door and stepping out into the cold, Coursant night.  
  
"No don't go, who's going to cook dinner tonight?" He called after her, which earned him a rude hand gester from the pissed off princess as she walked down the road and dissapered into the city.  
  
"Shit, what do I do now?" Han said to himself as he closed the door behind him. He walked back over to the overstuffed grey chair and flopped down on it, putting his elbow on the arm and resting his chin in his hand. He sat there for a good twenty minutes, trying to figure out what to do. Then something clicked in his head.  
  
"The Holonet!" He exclaimed, standing up. "That's what I'll do. I'll look for someone on the Holonet to spend my time with. I don't want to stay here alone waiting for Princess PMS to come back." He ran over to the computer and switched it on.  
  
"Now, what's a good Holosite? How about pwh(stands for Planet Wide Holo) dot goodcompany dot com." He said, typing in the Holo adress and hitting the Send button. A holosite popped up.  
  
"Looking for company?" of course I am, why else would I be here?" Han mumbled the the computer, scrolling down, looking at all the pictures of females and males of all kinds of species.  
  
"No, mmm-mm, eww that one's ugly, no, what the hell is that?, nah. . . " He said, looking at each picture of the people avaiable. "He stopped when one caught his eye.   
  
"Hello, what's this?" He question, staring at the picture. It was a picture of someone shrouded in a grey cloth that covered their entire face. Han didn't know if it was male, female, or even human because that information wasn't given.   
  
I guess I'll go with this one." Han shrugged and click on the Send Over button and filled out the information screen that popped up.   
  
"Okay, they should be here in a hour or so. Just in case it's a girl, I should make myself presentable." He said switching off the computer and walking up the stairs to the 'fresher. He came down an hour later wearing his best blue velvet suit and had his hair slicked back with what looked like a ton of hair gel. He carried in his hand a single red rose. As he walked dowm the stairs, he examined himself in the mirror in the hallway.  
  
"Yeah, I look good." He said to his reflection, straightining out his suit coat. As he was examining himself in the mirror, the doorchime rang.  
  
"That must be them." He said and walked over to the door and opened it. The grey shrouded figure stood there, holding a single white rose, which they dropped the minute they looked at Han.  
  
"I know I'm handsome, but I didn't know I was so handsome that you went and dropped your rose." He said bending down to pick it up.  
  
"This is for you." He said holding the rose out to the figure, who slowly reached out for it then snatched it out of his hand.  
  
"Well, come on in." Han said, offering his hand to the figure, who just brushed past him and sat stiffly down on the far end of the couch. Han shut the door and sat down on the other side of the couch.  
  
"Don't be shy, come sit by me." Han said, patting the seat by him.  
  
"Not on your life, Solo." The figure said, their voice cold and emotionless.  
  
Han's eyes widen with recognition at the voice. He went over to the figure and pulled off their shroud, revealing a green and red Mandalorian helmet with matching armor.  
  
"Boba Fett?"  
  
*~*--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*~*  
  
So, What did you think about it? Was it good? Did it need more detail? Was it too short? Tell me. I love hearing from the readers! 


	2. Don't Walk Through Strange Doorways

TITLE: Don't  
  
CATEGORY: Humor/Action/Adventure  
  
RATING: Hmm. . . how about PG-13, just to be safe.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I bet you've seen enough of these to know who owns what, huh?  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't have Spell Check, so excuse any misspelled words, okay?  
  
Chapter 2: Don't Walk Through Strange Doorways.  
  
*~*  
  
"I can't belive they sent me you." Han fumed, pacing up and down in front of the couch.  
  
"You picked me." Boba retorted, ajusting his shroud while watching Han pace.  
  
"That's besides the point." Han said, knowing Boba was right but not wanting to show him that he was. "Now I want you to leave and tell the place you came from it not gonna work." Han said, pointing at the door.  
  
"I can't, we have to go out to a fancy restauraunt and I have to record what happens and show the people at the place how it went." Boba told him, holding a small, silver camera about the size and shape of a golf ball in his hand.  
  
Han rolled his eyes. "Okay, let's make this quick. I don't want to spend more time with you then I have to." He said, walking to the door and flinging it open and stomping out into the night.   
  
"Come on, quit taking your own sweet time." Han called after Boba, who was walking slowly toward Han's yellow speeder car with a black stripe going up the hood.  
  
"Don't rush me Solo." Boba growled at him and got in the car and sat down in the passanger seat. He then put his elbows on his knees and rested his chin in his hands, looking sulkily out the window.  
  
"Hey, I hate this as much as you do." Han said, getting into the drivers seat and starting the engine and driving out into the city.  
  
*~*  
  
Leia walked down a street, lit with neon signs from various casinos and hotels and street lights. She stopped and sat down on a bench, resting her aching legs and feet.  
  
"Maybe I was too hard on Han." Leia sighed. "I should go back and apologize to him." She stood up from her seat and walked back down the street to the house.  
  
"Han, I'm home." Leia called as she walked in the door and flung her coat on the stairs. "Han?" When he didn't answer, her anger flared up again.  
  
"That son of a bitch, he left, without leaving a note on top of it." With that she snatched a peice of paper and pen off the table and scribbled down a note. She then snatched her coat off the stairs and stormed out of the house.  
  
*~*  
  
"You better not try an poison me while my back is turned Fett." He growled at Boba as they sat at a table at the fanciest restauraunt on Coursant.  
  
"I have faster ways of killing you Solo, you should know that by now." Boba told him, pulling a feeding straw out from under his helmet and placed it in a glass of water and began sipping it.  
  
"Still. . . " Han said, eyeing Boba warily, putting a hand over his glass of white wine.  
  
"May I take your order sir?" A male Twi'lek waiter, dressed in fancy maroon suit asked Han.  
  
"I'll have the Nerf medallions in the special sauce, cooked medium rare." He told him.  
  
"What about you?" He asked Boba, who just shook his head no.  
  
"Okay, It'll be ready shortly." The waiter said, picking the menus up and scurryed off toward the kitchen.  
  
"Why didn't you get anything?" Han asked Boba, who was still drinking his water.  
  
"Do you care if I get anything or not?" He asked, ajusting the camera on the table.  
  
"No, I'm just curious." Han told him, shrugging slightly.  
  
"Curiosity slaughtered the Bantha." Boba retorted and went back to drinking his water.  
  
"Trying to get you to talk is like pulling teeth." Han told him. Boba just ignored him.  
  
"Here's your Nerf medallions sir. Enjoy." The waiter said, setting a plate down in front of Han.  
  
"Doesn't it smell good Fett?" Han taunted, waving the scent of the medallions toward Boba.  
  
"I can't smell anything through the helmet." Boba told him, switching his now empty water glass with a full one. Han quickly quit was he was doing and ate his dinner. When he was done he paid the cashier and walked out to the parking lot.  
  
"Come on Fett, you walk so damn slow." Han said, getting really annoyed.  
  
"Nobody tells you how fast or slow to walk, so don't tell me." Boba told him camly, walking to where Han was.  
  
"What's that?" Han said suddenly, looking over Boba's shoulder.  
  
"A blue, shiny door." Boba answered, turning to see what Han was looking at.  
  
"Let's go see where it leads." Han told Boba.  
  
"Let's not and say we did." Boba said, leaning against a car.  
  
"Let's and say we didn't." Han said back, walking toward the door.  
  
"Solo, you're an idiot, what if that door leads to. . . some place we don't know." Boba gritted out as Han reached for the doorknob.  
  
"Where could it lead to, some other universe that we don't know?" Han asked sarcastically and opened the door. Inside, it was swirling black and purple smoke, studded with blue stars.  
  
"You go first Fett, it could be dangerous." Han said, shoving Boba toward the door. Boba stepped through the door. A few seconds later his hand shot out of the smoke, grabbed Han's and dragged him through as well. When that happened, the door slammed shut behind them and they were hurled through some sort of vortex and spat out in the middle of a street in some huge city.  
  
"Where are we Fett?" Han asked, looking up at the tall buildings.  
  
"Let's find out shall we?" Boba said and reached behind his back and pulled a huge purple book with a picture of the United States on it.  
  
"We're in a city called. . . New York." Boba said, looking down at the book.  
  
"What planet is that on?" Han asked, looking very confused.  
  
"Earth." Boba answered.  
  
"Well, I guess that teaches me to walk through weird doorways." Han said, earning him a smack in the back of the head with the book Boba was holding.  
  
"Let's just find a way back to our universe." Boba said, putting his book back from whever he got it from.  
  
*~*--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*~*  
  
So, What did you think about it? Was it good? Did it need more detail? Was it too short? Tell me. I love hearing from the readers! 


	3. Don't Turn Jezebel Down

TITLE: Don't  
  
CATEGORY: Humor/Action/Adventure  
  
RATING: Hmm. . . how about PG-13, just to be safe.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I bet you've seen enough of these to know who owns what, huh?  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't have Spell Check, so excuse any misspelled words, okay? Aso, if you review my story, I'll review yours.  
  
Chapter 3: Don't Turn Jezebel Down.  
  
*~*  
  
"Well, do you know where to go from here?" Han asked Boba as they walked down the street, which was crowded with people coming home from work.  
  
"I don't know, the book doesn't say." Boba, who has long since lost his shroud, replied looking at another book, this one being silver with a picture of New York State on it.  
  
"Where did you get those books from anyway?" Han asked.  
  
"I have my places." Boba said, examining the book.  
  
"Oh great. We're lost in a city we know nothing about." Han said, turning a corner and running directly into a man in a business suit.  
  
"Watch it asshole." The man said and kept walking.  
  
"Rude." Han said when the man was out of ear range. "Hey Fett, you find out anything yet?"  
  
"No."   
  
"Well, find something soon, it's getting dark and I don't want to be out here at night." Han told him.  
  
"Afraid of the dark?" Boba asked smugly, putting the book away.  
  
"No, it just that this city is. . . I don't know what it is. I just don't want to be out here in the dark." Han finished quickly.  
  
"Sure, I believe you." Boba said, not believing him for a second. Then a girl with a short, red dress on, an overly made-up face and thigh high black boots bumped into Boba.  
  
"Get the hell outta the way." She said with a Brooklyn accent, flipping her wavy, black hair off her shoulder.  
  
"You ran into me." Boba said camly.  
  
"Oh yeah? You wanna start something?" She said, turning on Boba.  
  
"No."  
  
"Well. . .neither do I." She said, her voice changing from threatining to happy.  
  
"Hey Fett, who's your girlfriend?" Han asked, pointng at the girl.  
  
"Some crazy dancing girl." Boba answered.  
  
"Oh, I don't dance. I work here." She answered, leaning against the side of a building.  
  
"You work on the street?" Boba asked in a disbelieving voice.  
  
"Yeah. By the way what's your names?" She asked, pulling a cigarette out from her cleavege.  
  
"I'm Han. He's Boba." Han said, jerking his thumb in Boba's direction.  
  
"Were your parents Star Wars freaks?" She asked, reaching down to her boot and pulled out a lighter.  
  
"What's Star Wars?" Boba asked.  
  
"She's talking to me Fett." Han whispered in a not to friendly voice.  
  
"Don't start arguing now. I'll talk to both of you." The woman said, lighting her cigarette. "Anyway, Star Wars is a movie and come to think about it, you two look a lot like characters from it."  
  
"Well you know what the say, everyone in the galaxy has someone that looks like them." Han said quickly, fidgeting nervously.   
  
"What's your name?" Boba asked the woman.  
  
"People around here call me Jezebel." The woman answered.  
  
"Jezebel?" Han and Boba asked in unison.  
  
"Yeah, what's wrong with it?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.  
  
"Um, well, you name means. . . "Prostitute" in Huttese." (A/N: I don't know if it does or not. I just made it up.) Han told her.  
  
"Oh, it means the same thing here too. So does floozie, streetwalker, ho, and alot of other names like that." Jezebel answered.  
  
"So your a. . . "Jezebel?" Boba said.  
  
"Yeah, that's why I'm out here, dressed like this." She answered, throwing her cigarette on the ground and grinding it into the concreat with her boot. "So since you know what I am, let's do what I do best."  
  
"Sorry, babe, I wish I could but I'm busy right now."  
  
"What about you?" She asked turning her dark violet eyes on Boba.  
  
"No, sex between those not married is immoral." He answered, turning away from her, grabbing Han's sleeve, and dragging him down the street.  
  
"No one refuses me for long, you bastards!" She yelled after them.  
  
"Let go Fett." Han hissed at Boba, jerking his arm out of his grasp as they turned around a corner.  
  
"Listen, we don't have time to be screwing around. Besides, you're married aren't you?" Boba said, turning on Han.  
  
"Yeah, but that's no ones business but mine." Han shot back.  
  
"We need to find a place to stay." Boba said, changing the subject quickly.  
  
"Yeah." Han agreed. "But the question is where should we go? There's alot of buildings and I don't know which one we could stay at."  
  
"We could stay at that building." Boba said, pointing over Han's shoulder. Han turned and looked at what Boba was pointing at. He saw a giant, pink neon sign that said "Hotel"  
  
"Yeah we could." Han mumbled sheepishly. "Hey, wait up!" He called after Boba, who was all ready making his way to the Hotel.  
  
"I'd like to rent a room." Boba told the girl behind the wooden counter in the lobby of the hotel.  
  
"Me too!" Han said, bursting through the front doors and running up to the counter.  
  
"We only have one room." The lady said in a nasaly voice, examaning her bubble gum pink nails.  
  
"What?" Han and Boba said in unison.  
  
"Are you deaf or somethin'? I said we-only-have-one-room." She repeated, sounding out each word.  
  
"We heard you the first time." Han snapped back. "Just give us the room."  
  
"I'm not sharing a room with you." Boba growled at Han.  
  
"Do you have a choice?" Han asked.  
  
"I guess not." Boba said, as Han paid for the room (with the Earth money he magically obtained) and went to look for it.  
  
"Here it is Room 102." Han said and opened the door. Inside, it was small and cramped. A small bed was in the middle of the room, it headboard up against the wall. A small table with a non functional phone sat under a small, dirty window. A door leading to a small bathroom lay to the right as they walked in.  
  
"We have to share a bed?" Boba asked.  
  
"Unless you want to sleep on the floor." Han told him.  
  
"Yes. I wouldn't be caught dead sleeping in the same bed with you."   
  
"Fine with me." Han said, sitting on the bed, which creaked with protest under his weight.  
  
"This bed sure is comfy." Han taunted Boba as he settled down on the floor. "It's so soft and fluffy and-" His word were cut of when the bed gave a all mighty snap and caved in the middle.  
  
"Broken." Boba finished.  
  
"Shut up." Han snarled, settling into the bed.   
  
"There they are." A certain crazy hooker said, peering into the window of Boba and Han's hotel room. "I'll teach them not to turn Jezebel down."  
  
*~*  
  
Uh-oh, it looks like Han and Boba found themselves some trouble. This chapter wasn't funny, I know. Anyway if you read this, leave a review! I love hearing from readers. I'm also open to readers suggesting ideas. Remember if you review my story, I'll review yours. 


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